Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
