my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
