where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
