I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
