let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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