i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
