did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize