Got a toothbrush?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize