so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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