She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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