Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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