I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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