my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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