from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
