so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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