i can't believe i had my finger in that
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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