is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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