went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
