she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
