Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
