I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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