So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
