that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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