me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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