Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
