So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
