you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
