Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There was a lot of him and a little penis
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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