Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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