Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
