Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
