The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
