I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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