If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
