i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
