Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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