I wanna bring you to show and tell
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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