if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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