he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
