It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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