the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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