last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
