Who did Billy Mays play for?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Holy shit dude........stairs
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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