I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
