Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
