You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
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there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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