the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
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I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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