I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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