I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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