Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize