tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
