did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
