I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
