she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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