You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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