Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She's the barista slut.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
