i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
