I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
