I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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