Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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