Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
